A successful husband is one who earns more money than his wife can spend.
A successful wife is one who can find such a husband.

It is entirely wrong to say that Mr. Khushwant Singh is a habitual drinker. He drinks only on two days one when it rains and other when it does not rain.

While taking the interview the Employer asked the candidate,
" How long did you work during your last job."
Candidate said 30 years.
The employer asked What’s your age?
The reply was 20.
The employer was surprised and asked the candidate that how it is possible that you are 20 and have a experience of 30 years.
The reply was Overtime.

As a punishment Teacher gave Raju a exercise in English to be written 20 times. Since he was weak in English. Raju wrote the exercise 10 times. The teacher the reason for doing so. Raju replied I am weak in Math's too.

A Drunked person said to a Lady that Drinking makes you look beautiful."
The Lady replied that, But I haven’t been drinking.

The man said I have.

From the dark come the voice of the sentry, "Halt! Who's there?"
"An American," was the reply.
"Is that so ? Well, advance and recite the second verse of the star spangled Banner."
"I don't know it."
"Proceed America."